he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
