ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
