I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
