WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
