eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
