it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
