I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
