Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
