A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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