I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
