I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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