My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
