did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
