You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ugly people sure do ruin things
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
