When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
