Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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