it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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