I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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