apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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