he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
