He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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