I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
