I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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