Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just gargled with NyQuil
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
