Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
