90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
