Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
