Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
