no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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