I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
