Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
