You're so nebulous sometimes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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