Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
