She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
