I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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