let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
