This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
