if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
