Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
