I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
