Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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