so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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