If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
