It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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