I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I touched a dick in church today
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
