HIV tests are more positive than that guy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
