She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
