"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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