Christians are straight up FREAKS
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
