dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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