I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
