He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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